By fdecomite on Flickr
He bought legos. He was given a Walmart card for his birthday, and the 12-year old bought legos. I was somewhat surprised by this because others at this age are usually past the stackable blocks. But, it was his card and he could do what he wanted with it.
A couple weeks later he announced that Legos are now old and he doesn’t want any more (the younger kids were excited about that!).
We saw it coming and knew that the Legos decision would not be the best, but he had to make the choice. We could council him, encourage him, but he has the ultimate say on that decision in the end.
It is PAINFUL to let my children make their own decisions – especially when I feel they are going to do harm to them. And Legos are the smaller things. Pretty soon one of our children will earn a bunch of money and spend it on something my husband won’t agree with. Not that it will be a bad thing, but not wise, either. Then one of them will date someone we don’t agree with. They will go places we know will have a atmosphere which will tear them down instead of build them up.
“Where is the line?” Oh, the infamous question we parents ask. When do we lay the law down and say NO WAY! And when do we back off and let them fall? It is often helpful for me, when I want to put a stop to an action, to conscientiously step back and do an evaluation from a non-parental point of view. Will it harm them? If yes, how much? Can they learn from the experience? How will it affect others – especially others in the family? What are the repercussions? Are they mature enough to learn the lesson at the end? Is it possible I have misinterpreted the situation and that I am wrong?
In the end, maybe it is best to allow them to make the mistake. Even if it does inconveniences us or cost us a little money.
What is your line?
Carina W., Florence, AL, USA
